If you are putting your child in pre-school for the first time, be prepared for teary and tantrum-filled goodbyes – which are a common part of a child's early years. The age when children experience separation anxiety varies widely for each child. Some children may go through it later, between 18 months and 2½ years of age, while others may never experience it. For some children, certain life stresses can trigger feelings of anxiety about being separated from a parent – be it a new child care situation or caregiver, a new sibling, moving to a new place, or tension at home.

While it can be unsettling for both you and your child, separation anxiety is a perfectly normal part of early childhood development. To get through it, you will need to first understand what your child is going through.

Strategies to help you cope with separation anxiety in young children:

• Have Confidence in the Teacher
  As hard as it may be to leave a child who is screaming and crying for you, it is important that you have confidence that the teacher can handle the situation. It may help that both you and the teacher set a time that you will call to check in after you leave the pre-school centre.
• Explain the reason of separation
  Some children need a lot of time to adapt to changes in their routines. One way to prep your child is to talk to your child about the change in advance, before the change is about to be implemented. You may need to keep repeating yourself, explaining the reason for the change and introducing the change in stages if possible. Before going to class, talk to your child and let him or her know that you will be coming to fetch them later after school. Say this before going to class, repeat it along the way, and repeat it again before reaching the centre. Praise your child or reward him or her if there is improvement in his or her behaviour (e.g. crying time is shortened). Do not expect children to change straight away but commend them on the improvement made.
• Do not turn back
  You can also create a consistent exit ritual during which you say a pleasant, loving, and firm goodbye to your child. Stay calm and show confidence in your child and reassure him or her that you will be back. Give your child full attention when you say goodbye, and when you say you are leaving, mean it – coming back will only make things worse. Do not try to avoid the bouts of separation anxiety by sneaking away when your child is not looking.
• Keep your promise
  It is also important that you follow through on your promise, and make sure that you return for your child at the time which you have promised to. This is critical as this is how your child will develop the confidence that he or she can make it through the time apart from you. A consistent pattern of attentive goodbyes and happy reunions will also help your child to build confidence in you and your relationship.
• It IS temporary!
  Most importantly, remember that this is only a temporary phase which will pass. As your child learns to be more confident and independent, he or she will grow used to new routines and people, and share his or her new adventures with you.